Shit I Did While I Wasn’t Here

April 19, 2014 § Leave a comment

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Wasting Time

February 22, 2014 § Leave a comment

1780787_10152212496592290_744881855_n (2)Every once in a blue moon, I waste my time with a pencil and a sketchbook, and make something that looks nothing like it was meant to, but seems to impress others nonetheless.


The Kill

February 4, 2014 § Leave a comment

“…this is a song called The Kill. But don’t be scared it’s a nice song… about losing your mind.”


January 26, 2014 § Leave a comment

I almost forgot. Almost.


January 1, 2014 § Leave a comment

I find myself, over and over again, writing crap poetry at bedtime. I’ve gathered quite the collection of my horrible creations. Behold. Actually, it’s probably best if you don’t.

I hate the dreams that haunt me when I wake
that cling to days with giant claws
that hold so tight I try, but cannot shake
that stay to make my torment slow.

I hate the dreams that haunt me when I wake
that break the pieces of my heart
that shatter every plan I make
that tear the promise of a day apart.

There’s you,
a memory I claim is true
a voice, a smell, a touch
there’s me,
alone as ever I’ll be
yet I’m not asking for much

Borrowed words
Borrowed thoughts
Borrowed time
But the feelings?
All mine.

A whirlpool of words
some are wrong, some are right,
to put them together
may just take the whole night,
and then watch them fail
and collapse with such violence -
I wanted to speak
yet there’s nothing but silence.

The magic nights go by so fast
a breath, a blink, they’re gone,
while static days just never end
a break, a pause – there’s none.

With tips of frozen fingers
that bring echoes of last breaths,
I trace the path I chose to walk
and wish for no regrets.

Between my future and past
between my first and my last
between I won’t and I must -
there’s you.

Between the truth and a lie
between what I accept and
what I deny
between my heart and my mind -
there’s you.

Famous last words etched in my mind
turning me dumb, making me blind.
famous last words that I did not forget -
“to me, you will always be perfect”.

A whirlpool of words
But none stays to linger,
I reach for your hand
But catch not a finger.

The night is alive,
Shadows curling and twisting,
Closing around you
Breath after breath.
The night is alive,
Voices screaming or whispering,
The night isn’t silent
For silence is death.

I forged my own cage,
I lost my own battles,
I built my own prison
And lost the whole war.
I threw out the keys
And watched as they shattered,
On hopes and dreams
I don’t have anymore.

A memory, a whisper
a touch without a sound
a glance, a smile
and I’m up on a cloud.

A memory, a whisper
don’t mean the same to you
a glance and silence
there’s nothing I can do.

Sometimes it’s easy to stop it,
sometimes I just can’t get enough -
I forgave you for not loving,
so forgive me for my love.

Make a wish upon a wall
Don’t ask for too much
You can’t have it all.
Make a wish upon a wall
Nothing too big, nothing too small.
Make a wish upon a wall
Or climb high on top
Take a step – and fall.

and if you’ve read it this far, I hope you had a good laugh.


November 18, 2013 § Leave a comment

How easy it is to say “follow your dreams” as if there are no bills, no obligations, no man-made rules to line up my dreams with borders and bureaucracy. As if there is no real, physical danger. As if I want to follow them alone. I’m not alone in my dreams.

I dreamed of someone tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever met him, but I think he loved me. I wonder if he’s real.

Entirely unrelated:

Empty Space #2

November 11, 2013 § Leave a comment

I strain to listen for your sound
 but you’re no longer to be found
 And every spot that was your place
 has turned into an empty space

  • "And if the man who once upon a time had been a boy who promised he’d never fall in love with another girl as long as he lived kept his promise, it wasn’t because he was stubborn or even loyal. He couldn’t help it." - The History of Love


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